Am I autistic too?

Have you ever wondered if you were autistic?

Is it worth it to seek a formal diagnosis?
What changes if I am formally diagnosed?

When your child receives a neurodevelopmental diagnosis, it can be a pivotal moment not just for them but also for you as a parent. As you learn more about your child’s neurodiversity, you might start to recognize similar traits in yourself, leading to a profound question: could I be neurodiverse, too?

This breakthrough is more common than many people realize. It is not uncommon for parents, upon learning their child’s diagnosis, to see their own lives through a new lens. Suddenly, patterns from your past and present start to make sense in ways they never did before. Challenges you’ve faced, quirks you’ve always had, or strengths you’ve never fully understood might all take on a new meaning.

Self-discovery can be both enlightening and overwhelming. It often involves reflecting on childhood experiences, reassessing relationships, and potentially reevaluating your career path. While it may feel unsettling at first, many parents find that this unexpected exploration leads to greater self-understanding and acceptance.

Should I Pursue an Autism Diagnosis?

When considering whether to seek a formal diagnosis for yourself, it’s natural to ask “does it really matter?” Let’s explore the reasons why getting a diagnosis could make a difference:

Helping You Better Understand and Support Your Child

If you share similar neurodevelopmental traits with your child, seeking a formal diagnosis can provide deeper insights into your child’s experiences alongside your own. Your shared neurotype can even strengthen your bond. A study published in 2021 found that parents who identified as neurodivergent reported a better understanding of their autistic children’s needs and more empathy for their experiences. You might find that your own understanding gives you a unique perspective that helps you relate to your child in ways you hadn’t before.

Access to Resources and Support

A formal diagnosis can open doors to resources specifically designed for neurodiverse adults. These might include support groups, therapy, and workplace accommodations. These resources can help you navigate complex red-tape processes and equip you with better tools to support both you and your child.

Validation and Self-Understanding

Many adults report feeling a sense of relief and validation after receiving a diagnosis. It can explain lifelong struggles and provide a framework for understanding your own strengths and challenges, as well as ways to develop coping skills that work for you. A study published in 2019 found that adults who receive a diagnosis later in life often feel more self-aware and experience less anxiety. This can ultimately put long-standing issues in perspective and offer you the means to conquer them.

Your Family’s Genetic Map

Many neurodevelopmental conditions have genetic components. These traits often run in families, which might explain why you see similarities between yourself and your child. A 2020 study identified over 100 genes that increase the likelihood of autism, many of which are inherited. Understanding your own neurodiversity can provide valuable information about your family’s genetic background.

Are There Reasons I Shouldn’t Seek An Autism Diagnosis?

While there are compelling reasons to seek a diagnosis, it’s also important to consider potential consequences:

Cost and Accessibility

Adult diagnostic services can hit your wallet hard, often costing thousands of dollars. Many insurance plans do not cover adult autism assessments, leaving you to foot the bill and deal with the challenge of finding a qualified specialist in your area. Waiting lists are also a real problem in accessing a proper diagnosis—we’re talking months, sometimes even years. It’s worth asking yourself: are you willing to potentially take a spot from someone who might need it more urgently?

Social Implications

While many folks find immense relief in finally having a name for their experiences, others find themselves struggling to navigate the healthcare maze or grappling with the weight of potential stigma. Many are worried about having an autism diagnosis on their medical record, and—let’s not sugarcoat it—workplace discrimination is a genuine concern.Though there are safeguards against this in many nations, the gap between theory and practice is sometimes more than we’d like to admit.

Emotional Readiness

Emotionally, this process can be a rollercoaster. Imagine digging deep and exploring your personal challenges, maybe even revisiting some not so pleasant memories. You’re opening a personal time capsule of potentially negative experiences. Are you ready for what might pop out? Some people find it cathartic; others find it overwhelming. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, but it’s important to be prepared for the emotional labor involved.

Diagnostic Uncertainty

Diagnostic uncertainty can be frustrating, especially if you’ve spent years developing coping mechanisms that mask the more typical signs of autism. This can make  spotting the signs challenging, even for experienced professionals. Inconclusive results can feel like an insurmountable setback when you’re finally doing the work to seek clarity.

The Validity of Self-Diagnosis

The discussion around self-diagnosis versus professional diagnosis in the autism community is quite controversial. Various perspectives on the validity of self-diagnosis highlight an ongoing discourse on neurodiversity, the role of medical authority, and our current understanding of autism.

Many autistic self-advocates prefer self-diagnosis, pointing out that individuals often know their own experiences best. They acknowledge that professional diagnosis can be expensive and difficult to obtain, and they think that people with autism should have a say in how the disorder is defined. For many, self-diagnosis can lead to meaningful self-understanding and community connection, even without a formal label.

The medical community generally favors professional diagnosis because of its standardized approach, which helps distinguish autism from other conditions and contributes to more accurate research and treatment plans. On the other hand, by viewing self-diagnosis and professional evaluation as complementary rather than competing methods, society might gain value from both.

Understanding Yourself: The Benefits of Self-Diagnosis

Self-diagnosis can be a crucial step for many in the neurodiversity community. Let’s take a look at the ways in which you might benefit from a self-diagnosis:

A Deeper Understanding of Yourself

Taking the time to research and reflect on your traits can illuminate aspects of your life that may have been confusing or unexplained. This process can build self-awareness and lead to more effective management of sensory, emotional, and social challenges.

Connecting with Community

Even without a formal diagnosis, identifying as neurodivergent can help you find a sense of belonging. Many online communities and support groups are welcoming and inclusive, providing spaces where shared experiences are recognized and valued.

Empowerment

Research shows that many who self-identify as neurodivergent feel a strong sense of empowerment through this process. Connecting with others who have similar experiences only strengthens this feeling, providing much-needed validation.

Self-Diagnosis: Steps to Get Started

You might be wondering how to take your self-diagnosis into your own hands. Here are some steps I recommend:

1. 1.     Educate Yourself
      Start by immersing yourself in the world of neurodiversity. Don’t just stick to medical websites—branch out! Read personal blogs, watch YouTube videos by neurodiverse individuals, and explore artwork expressing neurodiverse experiences. You just may find a creator who resonates with your personal experiences.

1. 2.     Personal Exploration: Tools and Tips
      While formal assessments have their place, there’s a lot to be gained from informal exploration. Try online screening quizzes (but remember, they’re just a starting point). Keep a daily journal noting how you react to different situations and stimuli, and experiment with different coping strategies that work for you. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself!

1. 3.     Seek Out Other Types of Professionals
      Don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals who are experts in related fields of adult autism and can offer guidance. Consider talking to therapists or psychologists familiar with ASD, occupational therapists who can shed light on sensory processing, or career counselors who can illuminate how your cognitive style might be an asset in certain fields.

1. 4.     Connect with the Community
      The neurodiverse community is vibrant and welcoming. Join online forums or social media groups focused on neurodiversity and attend local support group meetings or neurodiversity-based events. You could try starting a book club or discussion group centered on living with autism as an adult or parent. These connections can provide support, validation, and a wealth of practical advice.

1. 5.     Reflect on Life Impact
      Take some time to reflect on how embracing your neurodiversity might impact your life. Think about how this awareness might affect your relationships and communication style. Based on what you find during your personal exploration, consider adapting your environment to better suit your needs, whether that means creating a more sensory-friendly space or finding organizational strategies that align with your natural tendencies.

The decision to seek a diagnosis is a deeply personal process. Whether you choose to pursue a formal diagnosis or embrace self-identification, the goal is self-understanding and improved well-being. Your journey of self-discovery not only benefits you, but also strengthens the connection with your child. Take your time, do your research, and chat with others who’ve been down this road. Whatever you decide, know that your experiences are valid, with or without a diagnosis.